I am honestly shocked that I lasted four months blogging without mentioning the C word… Connex. Rather than tell you the numerous horrific stories I’ve heard about Metlink, its going to be easier (and quicker) to take a look at their latest campaign.

I’m sure you can remember only last year when the hopeless Martin Merton campaign was run, headed up by a Doctor who had a PhD in Train Etiquette. On similar lines, Metlink launched its latest yesterday; Karma Central. According to mX, this will involve giving away free coffee vouchers to paying customers in an attempt to stop fair evaders.

There are a lot of things going for the latest move by Metlink. I love the idea that this time they are encouraging their consumers rather than punishing them like the previous campaign. I also find the billboards and print media rather humorous and the website has a really great, innovative design.

So where does it fall down? Simply the concept. No matter how much you spend on promotion and advertising, you can’t market anything successfully without an acceptable product to start with. Instead of blowing your budget on an expensive campaign, put your money towards running a reasonable service where people don’t blog about you because they hate your brand.

Instead of offering me a free coffee, why not give me a seat I’ve already payed for?

Or is it? In what was set to be a very creative campaign Sprite’s Thirst For Truth was launched a month ago. Appearing as a cross between the Chaser’s War On Everything and Hamish and Andy, Truth Hunters AJ and Nicos aim these three minute videos at 16 to 24 year olds in an attempt to uncover “unspoken, brutal honest truths”.

The campaign has your usual vitals; a Facebook page, YouTube channel, blog and more but it seems the campaign hasn’t quite received the attention they wanted. A contest asking for user submissions of people videoing their own Truths didn’t receive a single entry. Promotions were run through billboards, bus sides and a cinema spot, yet $500 and a free trip to Sydney went unnoticed. Even after a month, I only heard about this campaign through someone at Naked Communications.

It raises the question, does new media require old media? Can you successfully market a campaign digitally without a traditional launch? Perhaps in two years things will be different but at least here in Australia and now in the present a thirty second spot would have benefited this campaign greatly.

Vary Your Vernacular is a small intermittent series designed to increase one’s vocabulary relating to all things Web 2.0.


n. sneeze·er
Coined by Seth Godin
, he defines it as “someone of influence in the community that spreads the word about a product or service”. Bascially, if a viral campaign is spread like a virus, then a sneezer is the person who spreads it.


n. flog
A portmanteau of the words fake and blog, usually found when a brand fails to be transparent with a negative outcome. Perhaps one of the best known examples was Sony
‘s All I want for Xmas is a PSP which significantly backfired when revealed.

word of mouse

n. word of mouse
The Web 2.0 version of word of mouth with the ability to spread much faster via the Interweb.

Previous Editions
+ Vary Your Vernacular I

I know I go on and on about Google but its simply because they have such a great product. And we all know marketing is more than just advertising and promotion. Here’s an interesting feature I stumbled across in the Herald Sun.

1. Go to Google
2. Type “find chuck norris”
3. Click I’m Feeling Lucky
4. Enjoy what is one of the greatest Chuck Norris Facts ever.

Having a sense of humour only further adds to an already remarkable product.

So we’re now a couple of weeks into Rexona‘s Million Ball Mission and I still don’t like it.

What a great idea to use Ricky Ponting, Australia Cricket Captain, to head up your campaign. Dispite his inabilty to act, its an ideal celebrity endorsement to bring in to really boost your campaign. This is all fine and well, the problem I have is with the balls.

To receive your free ball you have to attend one of only a few events run in your State. And if you do attend, all you get is a ball? Even if I did make it out to one of these events for my freebie, I still wouldn’t consider using a Rexona product.

This one should never have left the ideas room.

Also worth checking out the hopeless ‘official’ Rexona website. Surely in this day and age of new media every brand needs its own webpage, particularly a big one like this.

This clearly isn’t going to be the greatest blog post ever. In fact, its probably far from it but I’m allowed to make such claims because it’s only mere puffery. Those unfamiliar with the term should check out the Facebook group The Carbolic Smoke Ball Cured My Cold.

So when Skins claimed that they “don’t pay elite athletes to wear” their sports gear, they were using the same thing. Apparently the ACCC isn’t aware that consumers aren’t idiots.

Contrary to popular belief, people don’t believe everything we tell them.

The story of Corey Worthington and his infamous party made front page on the newspaper. Soon after this media interview became viral, quickly reaching the top ten over at Video Viral Chart.

Merely hours after this story exploded on the interweb, slapcorey.com was launched. What better way could Vivo Group market themselves than through what they claim to do best?

At more than 500,000 hits, I’d say this is a great example of UNM2PNM.

When we use the Interweb, we surf naked. Nothing is left unseen and we lose our privacy in its entirety. There is an SMS service in Australia called Bongo (199BONGO) which can answer any question or tell you about any person, so it claims.

Bongo’s website says to have a massive data base, and after doing a check on me, I was somewhat surprised with the responding SMS…

“Bongo knows that Zac has a very dirty sense of humour, he has never been much of a morning person and he will be coming into money this year.”
People who know me fairly well would say this is quite surprisingly true. This ex employee claims that is it simply done with a Google search. A quick search through social networking, work, school, university and clubs etc. could reveal such information.

My Facebook page would reveal the first two points in the message, that is if they weren’t generic. And as to coming into money this year, the Monash University Scholarship page reveals that I’m expecting a payment in a few months.

The key note here is not that your information is available but rather how quickly it can be accessed.

In case you missed it, the title of this post is sarcastic. In fact, I speak it fluently. Anyway, as I sat down to watch my newly purchased DVD, Knocked Up, it got me thinking.

At the start of every movie is an anti piracy clip lasting about thirty seconds. You can see the Australian version here



Now as I sit down to enjoy this movie, which I’ve purchased with my hard earned money, I’m confronted with this. You see the same thing at the cinemas, shortly after purchasing your ticket.

The geniuses behind this campaign (notice the sarcasm again) are targeting the wrong people.

Why would you punish law abiding citizens, more importantly, your loyal customers?